“I love Sulphuric Acid. Goes down hard, but man it gives you a kick.”
-Hawkeye, AT Nobo ’14-’15
Lovely day for a zero here in Connecticut. Did you know that Seth McFarlane has a house somewhere in this town? Odd…
This little grocery store is fucking fancy and expensive. People weren’t kidding when they said resupply got more expensive up north. Who in their right minds charges 50 cents for a pack of Ramen??? But hey, at least this locally milked “organic” chocolate milk is cheap. Even comes in a glass bottle I can get a refund on!
“Will that be all for you sir?” The cashier asks me.
“Yeh, that’s all.”
“$4.48. Also, if you bring the bottle back, we will give $2 back” she informs me.
“So, can I take this out in the parking lot and chug it and bring it back?” I ask.
She tilts her glasses down in that way that your grandma does when you say something she can’t understand.
“Honey you can do whatever you want with that bottle as long as you bring it back in one piece.”
Racing outside, I rip the top off and proceed to knock it back like I am shotgunning a beer back in Alabama (minus the poorly cut key hole on the side of the jar). The silky, sweet lactose coats the inside of my mouth with a thick layer of goop. A few concerned parents grab their children and push them quicker towards their minivans.
I walked back in the store and walked over to the same cashier. She looks down at my bottle, than back at me, then takes the bottle out of my hands.
“I think that’s a new record” she says, grabbing $2 out of the drawer and handing them to me.
Walking out of the shoe store, I slip on my brand new Superfeet and trot off to the coffee shop. Sitting down with phone and journal ready, I begin cranking out content for most of the day. The Irish coffee really helped to be honest.
Somebodies kid came waddling over to me. Cute little toddler boy from the table next to mine. I took out my headphones to hear what he had to say:
“This is my truck!” he exclaimed, showing me his little Chinese made toy.
“Oh that’s cool! Can I see it?”
He looks at me, with a real serious face for a minute. “You know, sometimes my teachers like to chase me around the school.”
“Why’s that buddy? Do you play hide and seek with them?” I put my face behind my hands.
“They chase me with chainsaws. They are really loud and scarey.” He says, looking out the window past his Dad.
I look at his father and give him the complete and total “WHAT THE FUCK” face. The dad chuckles and goes back to reading his book.
“I like my arms and legs” the toddler mentions.
Where the hell are the rest of the series to The Silent Planet?